Tattoo - Epilepsy Foundation Logo

3.25.15

As some of you know, I'm getting a new tattoo of the Epilepsy Foundation flame logo wrapped around the Master Sword from the Legend of Zelda series. This is an image that I put together quickly from images that I found online.

To me is symbolizes cutting through epilepsy, but the flame (the Epilepsy Foundation) is also giving me strength by forging the sword.

The sword design that I picked is from the Skyward Sword game, which is the first in the Zelda timeline. It's not just the first game currently in the timeline, it is the first possible appearance of the Master Sword in the timeline. In the game you forge the sword from the flames of the goddesses, which is why I see the flame as part of that forging process.

I'm supposed to get the final drawing from the tattoo artist today (3/25/15) and start the first session of the tattoo on Friday (3/27)

I will update this post with pictures at each step.

Update 3.26.15 - Drawing from the artist

Update 3.27.15

It took 3 hours, but it's done and it looks amazing

Step 1 - Outline

Step 2 - First Coloring

Step 3 - And Final Product - Sword Detail

Update 4.24.15 - 4 weeks later

There are a few spots that scabbed pretty badly and are still healing. Therefore, those spots are a little fainter than the rest, but they should look fine soon. If not, I can always get it touched up slightly. 

Also, the lighting and the angle are different than the original pictures. so some things are a little different in real life than how it looks in the picture (though,it definitely isn't as bright as it was on day one, especially the green, but that is to be expected.) 

This picture was me taking a picture of my own leg in a computer lab at work, and the others were the artist taking the picture in the studio. I found that it's kinda tough to get a good picture of the back of your own leg.

Am I crazy?

So... am I crazy?

I'm sitting here thinking about the fact that I am in constant pain on the right side of my body, so much so that I'm debating taking Ibuprofen before bed. Yet I still go to the gym multiple times a week (doing both cardio and weights) I still cheer as often as I can (and I'm even planning on doing a partner stunt routine next year) and I still do it with a smile. So I ask again... am I crazy?

I don't know what the outside world thinks, but I don't think I am. I'm doing what makes me happy in life. Right now those things are getting more and more difficult to do, but I'm not going to stop because I'm a little sore (OK, maybe a lot sore.) That's life. Things get sticky and we have to push past everything that is trying to hold us back. I keep saying it and I'm going to keep saying it... I've never let anything get in the way of doing what I want to do, and I'm not going to change that. Regardless of seizures and the pain that they cause.

Pain/soreness has just become that guy that nobody likes, but he hangs with you anyway. The guy that people learn to put up with because you just can't get away from him for any extended period of time. You ignore him hoping that eventually he'll get tired of trying, and that he'll just go away, but he doesn't. (You've all had someone like that at some point, admit it.)
I've learned to deal with it. I've learned to look past it. To "ignore" it as much as possible. I can go a while without hurting by just not paying attention to it, but eventually it comes back. On the rare occasion that it is finally gone for real, something happens and it's back again. Maybe not as bad, or maybe worse, but it always comes back.

Pain is my body's way of saying "stop you idiot!" but my heart is saying "I can't stop!" and I've learned to always listen to my heart. Life is about doing what makes us happy. What are you doing if you can't be happy? You're doing something wrong, that's what you're doing.

A lot of people say that you "have to think about the future," and say "don't do anything stupid." Some would say that what I am doing is "stupid," that I am putting myself and my body at risk and I'm not "thinking about the future." But I don't care what others think, and I'm sick of thinking about the future. Sometimes you need to think about the present. Make the best of now because you'll never have now back, and you may never get to see the future that you are thinking about.

I've done a lot of stupid things in my life. Some of them were really stupid... truly, very stupid. But most of them made for an awesome time and an even better story. If I'm being stupid by continuing to workout and continuing to cheer, then I'm fine with it because I'm having an awesome time.

The worst of the stupid things I've done in life aren't at all things that I've done... they're the things that I haven't done; Things that I made a conscious decision not to do, for whatever reason. Most of those reasons weren't good reasons, they were just reasons. This time I'm making a conscious decision to do something, and I know the reason - because it makes me happy.

So for the last time I ask... am I crazy? Maybe. Do I care? No. I know a lot of crazy people, and most of them are good friends and/or family.

Phantom Seizures

I think I've been having more and more "phantom seizures" as I will call them.

The other night I was at my computer and was just fine, then I could faintly feel a seizure. Parts of the right side of my body were twitching. Not enough for anything to really move, more like just the muscles themselves slightly tweaking out. After a couple minutes, my shoulder was sore, right under the shoulder blade - and by that I don't mean lower down my back from the shoulder blade, I mean below the skin is the shoulder blade, below that is muscles. That muscle hurts. And it has before, seemingly for no reason, but now I'm understanding why.

At the hockey game tonight, about halfway through, my right knee started bothering me. Again, I didn't really feel any physical symptoms. No part of my body was actually moving, but I knew something must have been happening because it suddenly hurt. I payed attention to my body a bit, and could slightly feel the feeling in my head that I get before/during/after a seizure. Then later, after the game my, shoulder started hurting again. Now my arm hurts, mostly around my elbow. So basically it's enough to make me sore, but not enough to notice what's going on.

As I've stated before, this makes a lot of sense because this kind of thing happened a lot when I was younger; I would hurt for no reason. I went to the doctor multiple times as a kid for my right knee, and they couldn't tell me that anything was wrong. Over the past few years (maybe the past 5-10 years) my shoulder would randomly get this pain, but not as often as my knee. I'd go to do something with my arm and I'd feel this sudden intense pain, right where I feel it now. Sometimes it hurt enough that it took a while to get my arm back to a neutral position. The pain would go away within a day or so at most, but it still sucked. The question now is - how often do these really happen? Obviously more often than I realize.

I wish I could do something, anything, to make this pain go away. Being sore 24/7 is getting really annoying. I guess it's time to get a protein shake before going to bed.



NOTE: this was written about midnight, so I waited until morning to post it so that people would see it.