So... am I crazy?
I'm sitting here thinking about the fact that I am in constant pain on the right side of my body, so much so that I'm debating taking Ibuprofen before bed. Yet I still go to the gym multiple times a week (doing both cardio and weights) I still cheer as often as I can (and I'm even planning on doing a partner stunt routine next year) and I still do it with a smile. So I ask again... am I crazy?
I don't know what the outside world thinks, but I don't think I am. I'm doing what makes me happy in life. Right now those things are getting more and more difficult to do, but I'm not going to stop because I'm a little sore (OK, maybe a lot sore.) That's life. Things get sticky and we have to push past everything that is trying to hold us back. I keep saying it and I'm going to keep saying it... I've never let anything get in the way of doing what I want to do, and I'm not going to change that. Regardless of seizures and the pain that they cause.
Pain/soreness has just become that guy that nobody likes, but he hangs with you anyway. The guy that people learn to put up with because you just can't get away from him for any extended period of time. You ignore him hoping that eventually he'll get tired of trying, and that he'll just go away, but he doesn't. (You've all had someone like that at some point, admit it.)
I've learned to deal with it. I've learned to look past it. To "ignore" it as much as possible. I can go a while without hurting by just not paying attention to it, but eventually it comes back. On the rare occasion that it is finally gone for real, something happens and it's back again. Maybe not as bad, or maybe worse, but it always comes back.
Pain is my body's way of saying "stop you idiot!" but my heart is saying "I can't stop!" and I've learned to always listen to my heart. Life is about doing what makes us happy. What are you doing if you can't be happy? You're doing something wrong, that's what you're doing.
A lot of people say that you "have to think about the future," and say "don't do anything stupid." Some would say that what I am doing is "stupid," that I am putting myself and my body at risk and I'm not "thinking about the future." But I don't care what others think, and I'm sick of thinking about the future. Sometimes you need to think about the present. Make the best of now because you'll never have now back, and you may never get to see the future that you are thinking about.
I've done a lot of stupid things in my life. Some of them were really stupid... truly, very stupid. But most of them made for an awesome time and an even better story. If I'm being stupid by continuing to workout and continuing to cheer, then I'm fine with it because I'm having an awesome time.
The worst of the stupid things I've done in life aren't at all things that I've done... they're the things that I haven't done; Things that I made a conscious decision not to do, for whatever reason. Most of those reasons weren't good reasons, they were just reasons. This time I'm making a conscious decision to do something, and I know the reason - because it makes me happy.
So for the last time I ask... am I crazy? Maybe. Do I care? No. I know a lot of crazy people, and most of them are good friends and/or family.
Showing posts with label Fitness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fitness. Show all posts
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Seizures triggered by diet?
I think I've found another of my seizure triggers: food (and/or nutrition.) For various reasons, I know that it is possible for diet to both cause and prevent seizures (depending on the situation)
It seems like a lot of these seizures are occurring when I haven't eaten in a while. I'm not necessarily hungry, just haven't eaten in a while.
I noticed a while ago that it seemed as if my seizure almost correlated with my workouts, but the relationship wasn't quite there. I didn't look into it heavily, but I did look enough to make the decision that "nah, I don't think that has anything to do with it." I still don't think that they are correlated... at least not directly.
Working out means that you need to increase intake. It makes your body require extra nutrients in order to maintain the energy level that you are used to. Specifically, working out mainly requires extra carbs and extra protein. I know most of you are thinking... "but I've always heard that low carb diets are the best!" Not quite true. Carbohydrates give you energy. If you workout without increasing your carbohydrate intake, your body is going to be lacking necessary energy. If you are trying to lose weight with diet alone, and no extra exercise, then a low carb diet is probably better.
A quick science/nutrition lessen:
Carbohydrates: There are 2 main types of carbohydrates - simple carbs and complex carbs. Simple carbs are things that your body can break down easily and use as short term energy. Complex carbs take longer for your body to break down, and therefore provide long term energy.
Some sources:
http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/nutrition/carbs/simple-vs-complex-carbohydrates.html
http://www.nutritionmd.org/nutrition_tips/nutrition_tips_understand_foods/carbs_versus.html
Protein: the main function of protein is to help your body repair itself and grow.
http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/nutrition/protein-in-diet/overview.html
Before a workout, you should have a mix of carbs and some protein. The simple carbs will give your body extra energy that will help kick-start your workout, some complex carbs will help sustain the workout, and protein will help your body to start to repair itself as quickly as possible. One of the best pre-workout meals is a PB&J sandwich. The PB provides the protein, the jelly provides simple carbs, and the bread provides complex carbs.
After a workout you generally need more protein than anything else. While working out you are literally damaging your muscle by causing microscopic tears. The muscles repair themselves over time, and are stronger after this repair process. Extra protein will accelerate this process, as well as allowing the muscle to repair itself more thoroughly, increasing strength just that much more.
The difference between these two requirements are why there are different protein bars for before a workout and after a workout.
So why all of this diet and science mumbo jumbo? Well, as a lot of you know, I've been working out a lot lately. Mostly walking (and running when my leg allows me to) and some lifting here and there. My body is in a constant state of searching for energy and repairing recent muscle damage from those workouts. Since it is constantly looking for these things, I need to constantly provide them. Constantly.
I seriously try to eat once every couple hours. Not necessarily a meal, but some fruit or a snack of some sort. Sometimes a "snack" is a sandwich, sometimes it's pretzels, sometimes it's whatever I can find. But eating that often is not always possible. When my body requires this fuel and can't find it, it doesn't know what to do. Lack of sleep and exhaustion are common seizure triggers... so my guess is that lack of carbs and/or protein may exhaust my body, possibly to the point where I start seizing.
Now all of this is just a theory... "A game theory"... Oh wait, this isn't YouTube (look it up.) But although it's just a theory, I think it has a lot of merit. It's seriously hard to eat enough to provide my body with what it needs. I am not usually tired, which means that I'm probably getting enough carbs, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm getting enough protein. I said at/after camp that I didn't think I was getting enough protein, and that may have been causing the (many) seizures that I had at camp. That food was extremely lacking in the protein department, which is what brought that thought to mind. If I'm not getting enough protein, then my body could be overworking itself in an attempt to heal and, boom, seizure.
Now the question is, how do I provide myself with constant protein throughout my work day?
It seems like a lot of these seizures are occurring when I haven't eaten in a while. I'm not necessarily hungry, just haven't eaten in a while.
I noticed a while ago that it seemed as if my seizure almost correlated with my workouts, but the relationship wasn't quite there. I didn't look into it heavily, but I did look enough to make the decision that "nah, I don't think that has anything to do with it." I still don't think that they are correlated... at least not directly.
Working out means that you need to increase intake. It makes your body require extra nutrients in order to maintain the energy level that you are used to. Specifically, working out mainly requires extra carbs and extra protein. I know most of you are thinking... "but I've always heard that low carb diets are the best!" Not quite true. Carbohydrates give you energy. If you workout without increasing your carbohydrate intake, your body is going to be lacking necessary energy. If you are trying to lose weight with diet alone, and no extra exercise, then a low carb diet is probably better.
A quick science/nutrition lessen:
Carbohydrates: There are 2 main types of carbohydrates - simple carbs and complex carbs. Simple carbs are things that your body can break down easily and use as short term energy. Complex carbs take longer for your body to break down, and therefore provide long term energy.
Some sources:
http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/nutrition/carbs/simple-vs-complex-carbohydrates.html
http://www.nutritionmd.org/nutrition_tips/nutrition_tips_understand_foods/carbs_versus.html
Protein: the main function of protein is to help your body repair itself and grow.
http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/nutrition/protein-in-diet/overview.html
Before a workout, you should have a mix of carbs and some protein. The simple carbs will give your body extra energy that will help kick-start your workout, some complex carbs will help sustain the workout, and protein will help your body to start to repair itself as quickly as possible. One of the best pre-workout meals is a PB&J sandwich. The PB provides the protein, the jelly provides simple carbs, and the bread provides complex carbs.
After a workout you generally need more protein than anything else. While working out you are literally damaging your muscle by causing microscopic tears. The muscles repair themselves over time, and are stronger after this repair process. Extra protein will accelerate this process, as well as allowing the muscle to repair itself more thoroughly, increasing strength just that much more.
The difference between these two requirements are why there are different protein bars for before a workout and after a workout.
So why all of this diet and science mumbo jumbo? Well, as a lot of you know, I've been working out a lot lately. Mostly walking (and running when my leg allows me to) and some lifting here and there. My body is in a constant state of searching for energy and repairing recent muscle damage from those workouts. Since it is constantly looking for these things, I need to constantly provide them. Constantly.
I seriously try to eat once every couple hours. Not necessarily a meal, but some fruit or a snack of some sort. Sometimes a "snack" is a sandwich, sometimes it's pretzels, sometimes it's whatever I can find. But eating that often is not always possible. When my body requires this fuel and can't find it, it doesn't know what to do. Lack of sleep and exhaustion are common seizure triggers... so my guess is that lack of carbs and/or protein may exhaust my body, possibly to the point where I start seizing.
Now all of this is just a theory... "A game theory"... Oh wait, this isn't YouTube (look it up.) But although it's just a theory, I think it has a lot of merit. It's seriously hard to eat enough to provide my body with what it needs. I am not usually tired, which means that I'm probably getting enough carbs, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm getting enough protein. I said at/after camp that I didn't think I was getting enough protein, and that may have been causing the (many) seizures that I had at camp. That food was extremely lacking in the protein department, which is what brought that thought to mind. If I'm not getting enough protein, then my body could be overworking itself in an attempt to heal and, boom, seizure.
Now the question is, how do I provide myself with constant protein throughout my work day?
Monday, January 13, 2014
Defeat
My workouts are reminding me of a lot of the motivators that I had long ago, but have come to forget. Tonight's motivation again boils down to 1 word: defeat.
How? How is defeat a motivator? Simple: I won't be defeated. I know you're probably thinking "you can't lose? Everyone loses occasionally." I can lose, but I won't be defeated.
What's the difference? A loss means that you have temporary been bested by an opponent. Defeat is a permanent loss. But there are other ways that you can be defeated, not just loss. It can be from constant stress, or one intense stressor. It can be from belittlement, or from intimidation.
As with many other things, defeat can be physical, mental, emotional, or many other things. And just as I described with pain, the threat of defeat can bring you up to fight, or it can crush you. But I don't fall. I refuse.
WARNING: NERD ALERT!
I'm going to get my geek on here, and make some references to Dragonball Z. If you haven't seen it, then you have been wronged by the social stigma attached to cartoons and manga. (If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching it, at least until the end of the Frieza saga.)
Goku (from the Dragonball series) - mostly as he exists in Dragonball Z - is undefeatable. He has a spirit than cannot be broken. As a Saiyan, he is part of a race that become stronger each time their wounds heal. Unlike other Saiyans though, his spirit seems to become stronger every time too.
END OF NERD ALERT - for now. (There will still be references back to this.)
When someone threatens me physically, intellectually, emotionally... I recognize when I'm outmatched. Don't get me wrong, I'm a survivor. Being a survivor I don't just give up. I will give it my all until it has come to a point where I recognize that I am outmatched. But when the time comes that I make this realization, I withdraw. But not forever. I will be back.
Once I come to this realization I better myself. I do whatever I need to do until I can beat you. Then I come back later and I defeat you... except that I don't. I come back and prove to you that I can defeat you. And once I've made that point, I stop to let you recover before you're completely defeated - just as Goku would.
I'm a better person because of that. I know that nobody deserves to be defeated. Many people have tried to defeat me, so I know what it is like to feel defeated. I just don't know what it's like to actually be defeated.
I'm the same even with video games. "Game Over" doesn't mean that the game is over. (Unless, of course, I actually reached the end of the game.) When I die in a game and get "Game Over", it simply means that I need to get better.
But I do have a breaking point. Anyone who has seen Dragonball Z knows that there are some things that Goku does not stand for, and my list is about the same. There are a few things that will release a monster if you aren't careful. You will not harm the innocent or helpless. You will not hurt people just for fun and your own amusement... and above all else, you will not take someone/something that I love away from me, or hurt someone that I love.
At these points, I don't need to walk away to better myself before I take you down. The adrenalin kicks in and most people just back away, afraid of what I am capable of. But if someone was to step in at one of these moments, they would be defeated. Like Goku in his initial Super Saiyan mode, I have little to no regard for the people who created this monster. But (also like Goku) even in this state, you have to push even further for me to truly destroy you. I have mercy on even the worst offenders, until they show me no mercy.
Luckily that doesn't happen very often. And when it does, people are too afraid to actually engage.
The bottom line is that I can build up all of the times that I have felt defeated, and use those times to better myself. If you've bested me physically, I will go work out, run, stretch, etc. If you've bested me intellectually, I will educate myself about the topic at hand. If you've beaten me emotionally.... well, you should probably be careful. I will better myself in every way possible until I find your weakness. That one is the biggest driving factor around.
How? How is defeat a motivator? Simple: I won't be defeated. I know you're probably thinking "you can't lose? Everyone loses occasionally." I can lose, but I won't be defeated.
What's the difference? A loss means that you have temporary been bested by an opponent. Defeat is a permanent loss. But there are other ways that you can be defeated, not just loss. It can be from constant stress, or one intense stressor. It can be from belittlement, or from intimidation.
As with many other things, defeat can be physical, mental, emotional, or many other things. And just as I described with pain, the threat of defeat can bring you up to fight, or it can crush you. But I don't fall. I refuse.
WARNING: NERD ALERT!
I'm going to get my geek on here, and make some references to Dragonball Z. If you haven't seen it, then you have been wronged by the social stigma attached to cartoons and manga. (If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching it, at least until the end of the Frieza saga.)
Goku (from the Dragonball series) - mostly as he exists in Dragonball Z - is undefeatable. He has a spirit than cannot be broken. As a Saiyan, he is part of a race that become stronger each time their wounds heal. Unlike other Saiyans though, his spirit seems to become stronger every time too.
END OF NERD ALERT - for now. (There will still be references back to this.)
When someone threatens me physically, intellectually, emotionally... I recognize when I'm outmatched. Don't get me wrong, I'm a survivor. Being a survivor I don't just give up. I will give it my all until it has come to a point where I recognize that I am outmatched. But when the time comes that I make this realization, I withdraw. But not forever. I will be back.
Once I come to this realization I better myself. I do whatever I need to do until I can beat you. Then I come back later and I defeat you... except that I don't. I come back and prove to you that I can defeat you. And once I've made that point, I stop to let you recover before you're completely defeated - just as Goku would.
I'm a better person because of that. I know that nobody deserves to be defeated. Many people have tried to defeat me, so I know what it is like to feel defeated. I just don't know what it's like to actually be defeated.
I'm the same even with video games. "Game Over" doesn't mean that the game is over. (Unless, of course, I actually reached the end of the game.) When I die in a game and get "Game Over", it simply means that I need to get better.
But I do have a breaking point. Anyone who has seen Dragonball Z knows that there are some things that Goku does not stand for, and my list is about the same. There are a few things that will release a monster if you aren't careful. You will not harm the innocent or helpless. You will not hurt people just for fun and your own amusement... and above all else, you will not take someone/something that I love away from me, or hurt someone that I love.
At these points, I don't need to walk away to better myself before I take you down. The adrenalin kicks in and most people just back away, afraid of what I am capable of. But if someone was to step in at one of these moments, they would be defeated. Like Goku in his initial Super Saiyan mode, I have little to no regard for the people who created this monster. But (also like Goku) even in this state, you have to push even further for me to truly destroy you. I have mercy on even the worst offenders, until they show me no mercy.
Luckily that doesn't happen very often. And when it does, people are too afraid to actually engage.
The bottom line is that I can build up all of the times that I have felt defeated, and use those times to better myself. If you've bested me physically, I will go work out, run, stretch, etc. If you've bested me intellectually, I will educate myself about the topic at hand. If you've beaten me emotionally.... well, you should probably be careful. I will better myself in every way possible until I find your weakness. That one is the biggest driving factor around.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Pain
Pain is the such a crazy thing. There's physical pain, emotional pain, and mental pain. All of those things can add up to one of two things: motivation or devastation. If you're a strong person, pain will motivate you beyond belief. Motivation to be better, motivation to feel better, motivation to do better. If you're not so strong, pain will bring you down and eventually destroy you. It adds up, leading to even more emotional and mental pain, which ends up in a downward spiral that is nearly impossible to escape.
Today was a painful day. Right from the get-go I was beating myself up with some old memories that I just couldn't get out of my head. Trying to push some things out of my head, and out of my past. I was fighting these thoughts all day. Already emotionally draining.
Then 9:30 or so comes around, and I feel my right calf tightening. I didn't feel this one coming, but I knew what was next. I tried to loosen it up, move my leg around and at least stop the pain for a bit. Then the tapping started. And it got quicker, and quicker, until it got hard to control. As usual, this uncontrolled tapping leads to pain and fatigue in my leg, and is starting to drain my energy.
Ed asks me to go install some software at someone's desk while this seizure is going on. He doesn't know that I'm having a seizure, but I am. Now I have to control my leg enough to walk, which just causes it to hurt even more. I'm physically exhausted, and my calf is killing me.
I get the install done, walk/limp back to my desk, and now I need to call someone and do a remote install of a printer. I'm on the phone, still mid-seizure, trying to give him instructions to get this remote session going. My mind is not quite working at 100%, because it's still seizing, so I'm slowly going through this process, forcing my mind to work enough to get through this. My slow thought process leads to slowly forming sentences, and therefor slow instructing.
My fingers aren't quite doing what I need them to do... they're hitting the wrong keys, double pressing keys, skipping letters, and for some reason I tend to reverse letters a lot when I type mid-seizure, which means I'm constantly backspacing and correcting mistakes. A half hour later, I get through what probably should have been a 10-minute or less job.
I sat there and waited out the rest of the seizure. After the leg stopped (almost 11:00) my head was still in a bit of a fog for about another hour, maybe more. Meanwhile, I'm internally debating a somewhat awkward decision that I'm going to be forced to make soon (which I can't go into much detail about) when someone comes to talk to me. This just inadvertently, and unknowingly, makes that decision even more awkward. Between pushing through the seizure and this awkward moment, suddenly I'm mentally exhausted as well.
Now I have a decision to make: am I going to let this push me forward, or is it going to push me down? Years ago it would have pushed me down, and I would have stayed down for quite some time. But being the person that I have come to be, there was no decision to be made. I not only let it push me forward, I forced it to push me forward. On my way home I listened to some of the most infuriating, most energetic, and most scream my head off music that I have. Suddenly, all of this pain has turned into pure energy. Energy fueled by hatred, confusion, neglect, despair, and any other negative feeling you could ever imagine.
I took all of this energy to the gym, and I ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I pushed that painful, exhausted right calf to its breaking point. I pushed until there was nothing left to push. I left all of that pure negative energy on the track, and suddenly there's nothing left; no energy at all. But as the energy slowly returns, it's not negative energy. I've just overcome a huge obstacle, and it feels good.
The thing is, my leg still hurts; It hurts more now than it did before going to the gym. Those memories are still there, and they always will be. That decision still needs to be made, and it will remain that way for some time. But I no longer care. I left it all behind, at least for now. It's all back at the gym until I have the time and energy to fight each one of those things individually. And when I do that, that's when amazing things happen.
So next time you have a painful day, ask yourself one thing: am I going to let this bring me down, or is it going to push me forward? If you decide to let it push you forward, some of that pain may still be there (like my leg pain.) Let that remaining pain push you even more. Turn that pain into energy again tomorrow, and the next day, and the rest of the week. You'll find yourself climbing a mountain instead of being stuck in a downward spiral.
Today was a painful day. Right from the get-go I was beating myself up with some old memories that I just couldn't get out of my head. Trying to push some things out of my head, and out of my past. I was fighting these thoughts all day. Already emotionally draining.
Then 9:30 or so comes around, and I feel my right calf tightening. I didn't feel this one coming, but I knew what was next. I tried to loosen it up, move my leg around and at least stop the pain for a bit. Then the tapping started. And it got quicker, and quicker, until it got hard to control. As usual, this uncontrolled tapping leads to pain and fatigue in my leg, and is starting to drain my energy.
Ed asks me to go install some software at someone's desk while this seizure is going on. He doesn't know that I'm having a seizure, but I am. Now I have to control my leg enough to walk, which just causes it to hurt even more. I'm physically exhausted, and my calf is killing me.
I get the install done, walk/limp back to my desk, and now I need to call someone and do a remote install of a printer. I'm on the phone, still mid-seizure, trying to give him instructions to get this remote session going. My mind is not quite working at 100%, because it's still seizing, so I'm slowly going through this process, forcing my mind to work enough to get through this. My slow thought process leads to slowly forming sentences, and therefor slow instructing.
My fingers aren't quite doing what I need them to do... they're hitting the wrong keys, double pressing keys, skipping letters, and for some reason I tend to reverse letters a lot when I type mid-seizure, which means I'm constantly backspacing and correcting mistakes. A half hour later, I get through what probably should have been a 10-minute or less job.
I sat there and waited out the rest of the seizure. After the leg stopped (almost 11:00) my head was still in a bit of a fog for about another hour, maybe more. Meanwhile, I'm internally debating a somewhat awkward decision that I'm going to be forced to make soon (which I can't go into much detail about) when someone comes to talk to me. This just inadvertently, and unknowingly, makes that decision even more awkward. Between pushing through the seizure and this awkward moment, suddenly I'm mentally exhausted as well.
Now I have a decision to make: am I going to let this push me forward, or is it going to push me down? Years ago it would have pushed me down, and I would have stayed down for quite some time. But being the person that I have come to be, there was no decision to be made. I not only let it push me forward, I forced it to push me forward. On my way home I listened to some of the most infuriating, most energetic, and most scream my head off music that I have. Suddenly, all of this pain has turned into pure energy. Energy fueled by hatred, confusion, neglect, despair, and any other negative feeling you could ever imagine.
I took all of this energy to the gym, and I ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I pushed that painful, exhausted right calf to its breaking point. I pushed until there was nothing left to push. I left all of that pure negative energy on the track, and suddenly there's nothing left; no energy at all. But as the energy slowly returns, it's not negative energy. I've just overcome a huge obstacle, and it feels good.
The thing is, my leg still hurts; It hurts more now than it did before going to the gym. Those memories are still there, and they always will be. That decision still needs to be made, and it will remain that way for some time. But I no longer care. I left it all behind, at least for now. It's all back at the gym until I have the time and energy to fight each one of those things individually. And when I do that, that's when amazing things happen.
So next time you have a painful day, ask yourself one thing: am I going to let this bring me down, or is it going to push me forward? If you decide to let it push you forward, some of that pain may still be there (like my leg pain.) Let that remaining pain push you even more. Turn that pain into energy again tomorrow, and the next day, and the rest of the week. You'll find yourself climbing a mountain instead of being stuck in a downward spiral.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
It's been a while
It's been a while since I've blogged, so I think I'm overdue for an update.
I've been working on improving myself in every way - Personally, physically, professionally, medically, everything.
As most of you know I've been fighting to control the simple partial seizures that I've been having, and unfortunately I've been losing that fight. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to give up, I never give up. I'm increasing the dosage of my Lamictal (tripling it actually, over the next month and a half to 2 months ish) and I'm documenting everything that I can - seizure dates/times, duration, intensity, details of the seizure, details of the aura, everything I can think of. I will win this fight, it just might take some time.
Physically, I'm making HUGE strides. I'm down 30 pounds in roughly 6 months. People are starting to actually see a difference, and noticing that I have lost weight. Looking at the picture that they took of me my first day at eHealth (roughly 6 months ago) I can see chub in my face that isn't there anymore. I look and feel awesome. I'm starting to look like my high school self again. I've still got a ways to go before I look quite that good, but I'm well on my way.
I've lost so much that the HR person at work actually said to me "You look like you've lost a lot of weight" and I told her "Yeah, I've been eating healthier and I've been at the gym at least 2-3 days a week since I started here" and she responded "Good, I was afraid that something else was going on, but I'm glad to hear that it's intentional." - she actually thought that my weight loss was because of some medical issues. It's good news that it's not, but it's also good news that I'm losing enough weight to create that kind of concern!
Professionally, I'm working on making some changes to some of my existing apps (mostly Auto Respond) and I'm working on a huge project with some friends and my brother which will include an app, a website, and eventually some servers to push data to the app and website. I'm looking into making "Fifteen 15 Studios" an official company - probably starting with a DBA and moving forward from there - and if you didn't notice I'm officially changing the name from "1515 Studios" to "Fifteen 15 Studios" at the same time. The only decision I need to make now is to include a space in the official name or not - "Fifteen 15 Studios" or "Fifteen15 Studios". I've got some people working on logos and icons and things of the sort for both Fifteen 15 Studios and the new app/website. I've got a non-disclosure and non-compete agreement ready for when the business is official, and I might have some changes coming soon in my "day job" too; Details of which will hopefully be made public soon.
Personally, well all of this is just making me a better person, even the seizures. They have taught me, once again, to never take anything for granted. They have taught me how to fight through anything in life. They have taught me that I can work through them, and through any other fight that I may come across, regardless of how physically, mentally, and emotionally draining it may be. They have taught me that 7 years seizure free does not mean that they are gone forever. They have taught me what medicine can do to you, especially when you're on it your whole life and don't know what it's like to not be on it; And that has taught me how incredible my brain truly is when it's not bogged down by medication.
Plus I'm getting back into cheer, which I love. Starting with going to RIT's practices again, and hopefully joining a team again next year (most likely Core Athletix.) I'd like to start back into cheering regardless of the state of my seizures. I'm trying my best to train through the seizures, both literally and figuratively. I want to be able to have a seizure on a competition mat, and finish the routine despite the seizure. I want to be able to be sore from a seizure, whether it happened and hour ago or a day ago, and still be able to do anything that I need to do. I want to become physically and mentally strong enough that I can deal with anything, anywhere, and pushing through these seizures, the med changes, and pushing myself at practices and at the gym will force me to do that.
I am becoming the person that I was 10 years ago, only better, and that's an awesome person to be!
I've been working on improving myself in every way - Personally, physically, professionally, medically, everything.
As most of you know I've been fighting to control the simple partial seizures that I've been having, and unfortunately I've been losing that fight. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to give up, I never give up. I'm increasing the dosage of my Lamictal (tripling it actually, over the next month and a half to 2 months ish) and I'm documenting everything that I can - seizure dates/times, duration, intensity, details of the seizure, details of the aura, everything I can think of. I will win this fight, it just might take some time.
Physically, I'm making HUGE strides. I'm down 30 pounds in roughly 6 months. People are starting to actually see a difference, and noticing that I have lost weight. Looking at the picture that they took of me my first day at eHealth (roughly 6 months ago) I can see chub in my face that isn't there anymore. I look and feel awesome. I'm starting to look like my high school self again. I've still got a ways to go before I look quite that good, but I'm well on my way.
I've lost so much that the HR person at work actually said to me "You look like you've lost a lot of weight" and I told her "Yeah, I've been eating healthier and I've been at the gym at least 2-3 days a week since I started here" and she responded "Good, I was afraid that something else was going on, but I'm glad to hear that it's intentional." - she actually thought that my weight loss was because of some medical issues. It's good news that it's not, but it's also good news that I'm losing enough weight to create that kind of concern!
Professionally, I'm working on making some changes to some of my existing apps (mostly Auto Respond) and I'm working on a huge project with some friends and my brother which will include an app, a website, and eventually some servers to push data to the app and website. I'm looking into making "Fifteen 15 Studios" an official company - probably starting with a DBA and moving forward from there - and if you didn't notice I'm officially changing the name from "1515 Studios" to "Fifteen 15 Studios" at the same time. The only decision I need to make now is to include a space in the official name or not - "Fifteen 15 Studios" or "Fifteen15 Studios". I've got some people working on logos and icons and things of the sort for both Fifteen 15 Studios and the new app/website. I've got a non-disclosure and non-compete agreement ready for when the business is official, and I might have some changes coming soon in my "day job" too; Details of which will hopefully be made public soon.
Personally, well all of this is just making me a better person, even the seizures. They have taught me, once again, to never take anything for granted. They have taught me how to fight through anything in life. They have taught me that I can work through them, and through any other fight that I may come across, regardless of how physically, mentally, and emotionally draining it may be. They have taught me that 7 years seizure free does not mean that they are gone forever. They have taught me what medicine can do to you, especially when you're on it your whole life and don't know what it's like to not be on it; And that has taught me how incredible my brain truly is when it's not bogged down by medication.
Plus I'm getting back into cheer, which I love. Starting with going to RIT's practices again, and hopefully joining a team again next year (most likely Core Athletix.) I'd like to start back into cheering regardless of the state of my seizures. I'm trying my best to train through the seizures, both literally and figuratively. I want to be able to have a seizure on a competition mat, and finish the routine despite the seizure. I want to be able to be sore from a seizure, whether it happened and hour ago or a day ago, and still be able to do anything that I need to do. I want to become physically and mentally strong enough that I can deal with anything, anywhere, and pushing through these seizures, the med changes, and pushing myself at practices and at the gym will force me to do that.
I am becoming the person that I was 10 years ago, only better, and that's an awesome person to be!
Monday, September 2, 2013
Workout Plan
I'm about 10 lbs away from my current weight goal, so it's time to think about the second part of my fitness plan: bulking up.
I'm not done with the slimming down yet, especially since my initial goal was about 210, and my current goal is 200, but I think when I get down around 200 I'm going to want to lower it further. But still, I'm getting to the point where I need a plan for building muscle back up once I get to whatever my end goal may be.
This is not my first rodeo, I worked out constantly in high school. But unlike back then, I have knowledge about how much diet (and especially protein intake) effects your body's reaction to the workouts, I know a bit more about routines, and I'm just generally more ready to actually build some real muscle. However, I still don't really know how I want to do this.
I do know some things:
I'm not done with the slimming down yet, especially since my initial goal was about 210, and my current goal is 200, but I think when I get down around 200 I'm going to want to lower it further. But still, I'm getting to the point where I need a plan for building muscle back up once I get to whatever my end goal may be.
This is not my first rodeo, I worked out constantly in high school. But unlike back then, I have knowledge about how much diet (and especially protein intake) effects your body's reaction to the workouts, I know a bit more about routines, and I'm just generally more ready to actually build some real muscle. However, I still don't really know how I want to do this.
I do know some things:
- I want to do 5 days a week - Mon-Fri.
- I want to keep Tuesday and Thursday as purely cardio days.
- That will make sure that my cardio exercise doesn't fall by the wayside, and it will give me at least 1 day of rest between each muscle group.
- I know how to split up my workout days by muscle group
- Legs
- Arms/shoulders
- Chest/back/core
- I don't do a whole lot of core exercise, but I figured I'd put it with chest/back
- Arms cannot be immediately preceding chest/back
- When I do arms before chest/back, the residual weakness/soreness in my arms affects the chest and back exercises.
- Where do I put legs?
- I know that legs take the longest to heal, because you are using them constantly to walk. Do I want to do Monday and be sore most of the week? Do Wednesday, and be relatively normal for the weekend? Or do Friday and be sore all weekend?
So here's a couple possible layouts:
| Mon | Wed | Fri | |
| Option 1 | Legs | Chest/back | Arms |
| Option 2 | Chest/back | Legs | Arms |
| Option 3 | Arms | Legs | Chest/back |
| Option 4 | Chest/back | Arms | Legs |
Any valuable insight as to which one would be the best option and why?
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Too much news for 1 post!
A lot has happened in the past couple days, and I'm going to start with some fitness news.
Yesterday, I went to the gym for the last time before camp. It wasn't planned to be my last gym trip before camp, but since the gym is closed for the rest of the week, it ended up that way.
First and foremost, I weighed in yesterday at 219.7 lbs... the first time I've weighed in under 220! I know, it's not much below 220, but it's below, and I'll take it! It's not quite my (admittedly ambitious) goal of 215 before camp, but I have lost 15 pounds in 3 months, and I think that's pretty good.
Also, yesterday at the gym I biked 3.43 miles in 10 minutes, which averages to over 20.5 mph! That's fast, especially for an average speed over a 10 minute span! How fast, you ask? Well, I biked a lot in high school. And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT! One day, there was one of those speed things that the cops put out, that show the speed limit and your current speed. Well, I broke the speed limit on this particular road by going 27 in a 25 zone on my bike. Like the weight thing, I didn't break the speed limit by much, but I did it. And I was on a bike, not in a car. That was probably the fastest I had ever gone on a bike.
Camp starts Saturday which means I'm probably going to lose some more weight next week. With all the hiking up and down hills, and running after energetic kids, I'm sure I'll lose some more weight there.
Speaking of camp, I've been 19 days seizure free now. For those of you who really know me, I know that doesn't sound like a lot compared to my previous records, but it is pretty good for these partials. The one I expected to come last week never happened. We'll see what happens at camp.
Want to know some even more exciting news on the epilepsy front??? Come back for part 2 of this post.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)