I promised a blog about the results of my EEG and here it is...
I didn't hear what I expected to hear this morning. I saw written on the single results page the same word that I've seen on every results page of every EEG I've ever had - "unremarkable".
What does that mean? It means that there was nothing of interest in the results of my EEG. The EEG during which I had a seizure occur, still showed "unremarkable" results. The single page document even noted my remark to the person who administered the test - that I had "symptoms" during the test after the hyperventilating portion.
I was not myself today after hearing this disappointing and extremely shocking news. I had no idea how to feel. I was disappointed, angry, upset, sad... think of every bad feeling you've ever felt: I felt that all at one time this morning. (And they came back occasionally throughout the day.) I actually came close to tears a couple times this morning, because I thought that I would finally have some new information and instead I walked away empty handed.
What did the doctor say? A bunch of mumbo jumbo about why it possibly didn't show up, which sounded to me like a kid making an excuse as to why he doesn't have his homework done. Then he said to continue on the increased medicine dosage and let him know if I have any more episodes. News flash - the stress that I put myself through this morning after hearing this news caused at least one more to happen today. (I think it was more like 3 or 4 throughout the day. Small, but there.)
Then he said that if they continue, we can do a 24-hour EEG, which can be administered at home and I can keep a journal of any "events" that occur throughout the day. They will use this journal to look at certain time stamps and see if there is any new data. So his plan is to have me sit around all day with a cap on my head to find another unremarkable test result. Sounds like a fun day to me.
As you can probably tell from the tone of this, I am still very upset about the lack of any new information and I really don't know what to think or feel. It seems like the more I think I know, the less I can confirm what I think I know. (Did you follow that? It makes sense, I swear.)
I really just want some answers. Why have I been having seizures for 28+ years? Where do they come from in my brain? How are they affecting me, other than the obvious? And most importantly right now - How do I trigger one, and what do I need to do to let you capture it? I will force myself into a seizure if I know how to do it, and I know that you are capturing data. I just want to know more about me, and my seizures, and how to stop them, and what the hell they are doing to me.
It's extremely frustrating. 28 years and I know little more now than my parents knew 28 years ago.
Development Blog
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Thursday, June 27, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
EEG results... coming Thurday
I know from the Facebook "likes", comments, and other reactions to my previous post about my EEG that some of you are probably just as excited to find out the results of my EEG as I am. (OK, I don't think anyone is quite as excited as me, with the possible exception of my mom, but some of you are definitely intrigued.)
The bad news, however, is that I couldn't get an appointment with my doctor until Thursday at 8:30am. I do plan on spending more time with him than he probably realizes, and asking a ton of questions, and telling him exactly what I experienced during the test, and I am determined to come out with some good information.
Bottom line, be sure to come back here Thursday night to find out what we learned from the test. I get out of work at 7:30pm and will likely post about the result as soon as I get home.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Overcoming Medicine Side Effects
Some of you may know that the biggest side effect that I see from my medicine is the one that says "may cause drowsiness" on the bottle. For me, this is worst during the first week or so after increasing dosage. (AKA - right now.) In fact, in my case it's sometimes bad enough that the warning should say "may knock you on your ass!"
So what can I do to stop this? Well, I'm consuming a drug which makes me tired... so I'm going to consume food that keeps me awake. But what keeps you awake?
The answer is: anything that gives you the most energy. Complex carbs and protein give you the most long term energy, and simple carbs give you short term energy.
Complex carbs are in things like bread, rice, and other grains. Fiber also gives you some long term energy. Most people know that protein is very high in meat and nuts (like peanuts or cashews) and sugar is an example of a simple carb that... well there's plenty of things that have sugar.
So my plan for today... start off with a bowl of Mini Wheats. They're high in fiber, and the wheat mean's they probably have some other complex carbs in there. Along with that is obviously some milk. Can't have cereal without milk. (At least I can't, especially not mini wheats.) That milk has some protein which will add to my energy reserves. Add in some toast for some added complex carbs, (I usually do 2 pieces, but will likely do 4 today) and the usual fruit that I have with every meal now, and we should have a fairly energetic breakfast.
What about lunch/dinner? Well I've got something planned that I haven't done in a long time... PB&J sandwiches. (At least, I haven't packed them for lunch in a long time) The peanut butter is high in protein, the bread has the complex carbs, and the jelly has a decent amount of sugar, giving me an instantaneous boost as well as a sustained boost for the rest of the day. One sandwich isn't going to be enough for me, so I'm planning on making several. That way, I can grab one throughout the day if I get low on energy.
Also, for you non-PB&J experts, the correct way to build a PB&J for on-the-go eating is to have PB on each slice of bread and the jelly in the center, so that the jelly doesn't leak through the bread.
And I've always got those fruit cups in my drawers at work too, so they are a good source of fiber and a small boost.
So that's my plan for today. Let's hope it works.
So what can I do to stop this? Well, I'm consuming a drug which makes me tired... so I'm going to consume food that keeps me awake. But what keeps you awake?
The answer is: anything that gives you the most energy. Complex carbs and protein give you the most long term energy, and simple carbs give you short term energy.
Complex carbs are in things like bread, rice, and other grains. Fiber also gives you some long term energy. Most people know that protein is very high in meat and nuts (like peanuts or cashews) and sugar is an example of a simple carb that... well there's plenty of things that have sugar.
So my plan for today... start off with a bowl of Mini Wheats. They're high in fiber, and the wheat mean's they probably have some other complex carbs in there. Along with that is obviously some milk. Can't have cereal without milk. (At least I can't, especially not mini wheats.) That milk has some protein which will add to my energy reserves. Add in some toast for some added complex carbs, (I usually do 2 pieces, but will likely do 4 today) and the usual fruit that I have with every meal now, and we should have a fairly energetic breakfast.
What about lunch/dinner? Well I've got something planned that I haven't done in a long time... PB&J sandwiches. (At least, I haven't packed them for lunch in a long time) The peanut butter is high in protein, the bread has the complex carbs, and the jelly has a decent amount of sugar, giving me an instantaneous boost as well as a sustained boost for the rest of the day. One sandwich isn't going to be enough for me, so I'm planning on making several. That way, I can grab one throughout the day if I get low on energy.
Also, for you non-PB&J experts, the correct way to build a PB&J for on-the-go eating is to have PB on each slice of bread and the jelly in the center, so that the jelly doesn't leak through the bread.
And I've always got those fruit cups in my drawers at work too, so they are a good source of fiber and a small boost.
So that's my plan for today. Let's hope it works.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Best. EEG. Ever!
As many of you know, I had an EEG this morning I said before that I've had dozens of these in the past, and they've never seen anything... well I think my luck may have changed today.
For anyone who's ever had an EEG before, most should know that you are usually asked to have very little sleep before the test. This is so that you can possibly sleep during the test, but also because lack of sleep is a seizure trigger for many people. I got roughly 4 hours of sleep last night.
My mom took me to the appointment this morning, and on my way in I had a feeling that one was coming. I don't know what it was... it wasn't a full aura, but I just had a feeling.
I got into the test, and they had me just lay there for a bit with the wires connected. Then we started the breathing part. They have you breathe quickly and heavily through your mouth for 3 minutes. Then we stopped again for a while.
That's when it happened.
About 10 seconds after I stopped the heavy breathing, I felt an actual aura. I started getting "that feeling" in my head, which is literally indescribable but only ever means 1 thing: I was starting into a seizure. My heart started beating quickly, I could feel it beating in my chest, my breathing sped up again, and finally I felt some twitching in my right knee.
This went on for a while. I tried to get to sleep, but every time I got close to sleeping it felt like the seizure peaked up again. I could feel my right leg tensing up, and still the occasional twitch in the right knee. My right arm and leg both felt weak, even though I was laying down I could feel the weakness. My head twitched a bit, I think because I was trying to contain the other twitching as much as possible. This continued for about 30 minutes or so, when she finally started the blinking lights. I didn't tell her that I had started into a seizure, I kinda kept that to myself.
She put the light in front of me, told me to keep my eyes closed, and started the blinking lights part of the test. At this point, I was still in the seizure... and let me tell you: the blinking lights test while in a seizure was weird! It was like I could see shapes in the light as it blinked, and the slow blinking really threw my head for a loop. I don't even know how to describe it, but it definitely made me tweak out a bit.
Amazingly, the seizure stopped either during or shortly after the blinking lights test. Then about 2-3 minutes after the blinking lights, she stopped the test. I told her "I think we got one!" So she talked to me a bit about when it happened, and how long it lasted, and she told me that a doctor would look at it today and send it to my doctor tomorrow.
Now, those of you who don't have epilepsy, or don't know a lot about epilepsy, are probably thinking "How is this a good thing!?" My answer: It's not a good thing, it's a GREAT thing! The point of an EEG is to capture abnormal brain activity. I have had epilepsy since birth over 28 years ago, and have NEVER caught any abnormal activity during an EEG. I'm 90% sure that we got some this time! I just hope that the data is useful to my doctor...
My doctor told me that an appointment wasn't necessary after the EEG, but I think this time it is. I want to see the EEG, I want to talk to him about what he saw, I want to see if he can identify when the seizure started and stopped, and if he can't I want to tell him where to look.
This is probably the only time you will ever see me be glad that I had a seizure, but I am genuinely excited to see these results!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Next 2 weeks
The next 2 weeks of my life are going to be interesting....
this week I'm working 4 10-hour days so that I can have Wednesday off. Wednesday I'm going in for an EEG. I'm supposed to be sleep deprived for the test, which is why I'm taking off of work that day. I don't want to have to work on very little sleep. Then after the EEG I'm increasing the dosage on my medicine, to try to stop the simple partial seizures that I've been having.
I know from when I first started this medicine that each increase in dosage zaps my energy. It basically turns me into a zombie for about a week. So Thursday and Friday of this week I'm going to be working 10 hours on an increased dosage... that should be fun.
Next week I'll still be on the new dosage, and likely still feeling the effects of it well into the middle to end of the week. That Saturday (the 29th) I'm bar tending a wedding for a friend of mine. I will have been on the new dosage for about a week and a half, so I'm hoping that my body will be used to the new dosage by that time. If I'm still feeling the effects, I'll probably sleep most of the morning Saturday, then go to the wedding, and finally bar tend the reception.
Should be an interesting couple of weeks. Wish me luck.
this week I'm working 4 10-hour days so that I can have Wednesday off. Wednesday I'm going in for an EEG. I'm supposed to be sleep deprived for the test, which is why I'm taking off of work that day. I don't want to have to work on very little sleep. Then after the EEG I'm increasing the dosage on my medicine, to try to stop the simple partial seizures that I've been having.
I know from when I first started this medicine that each increase in dosage zaps my energy. It basically turns me into a zombie for about a week. So Thursday and Friday of this week I'm going to be working 10 hours on an increased dosage... that should be fun.
Next week I'll still be on the new dosage, and likely still feeling the effects of it well into the middle to end of the week. That Saturday (the 29th) I'm bar tending a wedding for a friend of mine. I will have been on the new dosage for about a week and a half, so I'm hoping that my body will be used to the new dosage by that time. If I'm still feeling the effects, I'll probably sleep most of the morning Saturday, then go to the wedding, and finally bar tend the reception.
Should be an interesting couple of weeks. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
8 pounds in 1 month
Yeah, you read that title right. I've lost 8 pounds in 1 month. The crazy part? I haven't been to the gym in that month!
How do I know all of this? I've got an app for that. It's called Jefit. (It's available for iOS and Anroid, I recommend downloading it if you go to the gym.) I use it to log my workouts, and before each workout I also log my weight in the app. The last log that I have (prior to today) was from May 7th, and I weighed 233lbs. I went back to the gym today (almost an entire month later) and weighed in at 225lbs. (And for the record, I wear the same thing at every weigh-in, and use the same scale. I wear a pair of gym shorts, a tank top, and a pair of socks - no shoes.)
Now, I know what you're thinking... How did you lose weight without going to the gym? And the answer is 2-fold:
1) The diet that I started.
I've been eating a lot of fruit, and I've been eating a lot more often. Usually at least once every 2-3 hours. I start with a meal in the morning. Usually cereal or eggs, with some toast, milk, and some type of fruit - a banana or a fruit cup. Then at work, I eat multiple times throughout the day. Each of those is just a fruit cup or an apple, but I have usually at least 3-4 per day. I also have been preparing my own meals for work, and I eat lunch and dinner at work. Lunch around 2:00, dinner around 6. Lunch is usually some chicken with rice, noodles, or other side dish. Dinner is usually a bowl of chunky soup or another prepared chicken meal. And finally, some more fruit when I get home from work around 8. I occasionally have some "guilty pleasure" foods, usually a couple times a week. I'll have some chips, pretzels, or other salty snack, but I try to make sure to also have some fruit soon after that.
The past couple weeks I've been so busy moving that a lot of the lunches (and some breakfasts) have not been as healthy as normal. I've been going to Wegman's market deli, or to Wendy's, or Arby's. Although, even most of those have been healthier than most people's trips to those places. The Wendy's purchases were mostly the chicken flat bread, Arby's has been mostly their chicken and turkey sandwiches (I didn't even know they had turkey sandwiches until a couple weeks ago) and Wegman's... well a couple of those have been less than healthy. But the rest were subs and other healthy choices. (The unhealthy breakfasts that I mentioned briefly were mostly McDonald's breakfast - usually the breakfast burrito or a sausage egg and cheese bagel. Yeah they have that, it's just not on the menu.)
2) You don't need to go to the gym to get a workout.
I've been very busy. In the past month I've helped a friend move, moved myself, arranged things in the new apartment, moved more, moved more, cleaned the old apartment, moved a little more, helped another friend clean out her parents' barn (don't ask) and now I need to finish arranging things in the new apartment.
So yeah, a lot of physical labor over the past month. Which is why I wasn't going to the gym... I felt like I had gone to the gym most days, even though I hadn't been there in weeks.
Personally I think the diet was more helpful than the physical work. I've been trying to lose weight for a while, and have been too lazy to adapt a proper diet. Now that I have a proper diet, I lost 8 pounds in a month (even while occasionally cheating on that diet.)
An even better sign: today I had to wear a belt with pants that don't generally need a belt. And the belt loop that I used was one tighter than the one I usually use! That's real progress! :-)
How do I know all of this? I've got an app for that. It's called Jefit. (It's available for iOS and Anroid, I recommend downloading it if you go to the gym.) I use it to log my workouts, and before each workout I also log my weight in the app. The last log that I have (prior to today) was from May 7th, and I weighed 233lbs. I went back to the gym today (almost an entire month later) and weighed in at 225lbs. (And for the record, I wear the same thing at every weigh-in, and use the same scale. I wear a pair of gym shorts, a tank top, and a pair of socks - no shoes.)
Now, I know what you're thinking... How did you lose weight without going to the gym? And the answer is 2-fold:
1) The diet that I started.
I've been eating a lot of fruit, and I've been eating a lot more often. Usually at least once every 2-3 hours. I start with a meal in the morning. Usually cereal or eggs, with some toast, milk, and some type of fruit - a banana or a fruit cup. Then at work, I eat multiple times throughout the day. Each of those is just a fruit cup or an apple, but I have usually at least 3-4 per day. I also have been preparing my own meals for work, and I eat lunch and dinner at work. Lunch around 2:00, dinner around 6. Lunch is usually some chicken with rice, noodles, or other side dish. Dinner is usually a bowl of chunky soup or another prepared chicken meal. And finally, some more fruit when I get home from work around 8. I occasionally have some "guilty pleasure" foods, usually a couple times a week. I'll have some chips, pretzels, or other salty snack, but I try to make sure to also have some fruit soon after that.
The past couple weeks I've been so busy moving that a lot of the lunches (and some breakfasts) have not been as healthy as normal. I've been going to Wegman's market deli, or to Wendy's, or Arby's. Although, even most of those have been healthier than most people's trips to those places. The Wendy's purchases were mostly the chicken flat bread, Arby's has been mostly their chicken and turkey sandwiches (I didn't even know they had turkey sandwiches until a couple weeks ago) and Wegman's... well a couple of those have been less than healthy. But the rest were subs and other healthy choices. (The unhealthy breakfasts that I mentioned briefly were mostly McDonald's breakfast - usually the breakfast burrito or a sausage egg and cheese bagel. Yeah they have that, it's just not on the menu.)
2) You don't need to go to the gym to get a workout.
I've been very busy. In the past month I've helped a friend move, moved myself, arranged things in the new apartment, moved more, moved more, cleaned the old apartment, moved a little more, helped another friend clean out her parents' barn (don't ask) and now I need to finish arranging things in the new apartment.
So yeah, a lot of physical labor over the past month. Which is why I wasn't going to the gym... I felt like I had gone to the gym most days, even though I hadn't been there in weeks.
Personally I think the diet was more helpful than the physical work. I've been trying to lose weight for a while, and have been too lazy to adapt a proper diet. Now that I have a proper diet, I lost 8 pounds in a month (even while occasionally cheating on that diet.)
An even better sign: today I had to wear a belt with pants that don't generally need a belt. And the belt loop that I used was one tighter than the one I usually use! That's real progress! :-)
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Ramblings about my epilepsy
This is something I wrote the night before having that last partial seizure a couple weeks ago. I never published it because I was still writing. But I think this is enough for now.
This and the part that says "UPDATE:" were added tonight... after the initial writing.
Not many people look at me and immediately think "there's Randy, he has epilepsy." But truth is... I think about it every day.
I'm forced to think about it - I take medicine twice a day.
I choose to think about it - I have this internal need to know how and why things are the way they are... and this is the one case where I have no idea. So I am constantly analyzing myself. Studying my own behavior, noticing my body's reaction to certain situations, and my own conscious reactions to situations.
I need to think about it - I want to always make sure that I'm safe in any situation that life throws at me. Therefore, when I'm driving I'm often thinking "what would I do if I had a seizure right now?" When I'm at work I'm thinking "What would the people around me do if I was to have a seizure right now?" and when some external stimulus is thrown my way that I'm not used to, and I suddenly feel a sensation that I'm not used to, I'm forced to think "is this an aura, or is it something else?"
I'm a better person for thinking about it - I am constantly trying to improve myself, to prove to others that I can do just as much as they can... and in many cases, more than they can. Not because of my epilepsy, but despite my epilepsy. I've said before, that I use it as driving a force. I push myself to prove to myself and others that I can and will thrive in life.
Most people don't realize how often I have to remind myself that I have epilepsy. Or how many times life chooses to throw me a subtle reminder.
Since my seizure last summer, I have been aware of every little unexpected movement in my body. It was the first time I had ever had a partial seizure. The first time that I was conscious and aware of EVERYTHING despite the fact that I couldn't completely control the right side of my body.
Since then, I have had a couple of occasional muscle twitches. Probably nothing unusual... the muscle is overworked, or something moved just right in there to force it to move unexpectedly. But every time that happens, I do a full inspection of myself. Not physically, mentally. I think - is there anything truly unusual going on, or is this just a muscle twitch? What do I need to do in this particular moment if this is an oncoming seizure? Did I have an aura and not recognize it as such?
UPDATE: I now think that some of these may have been partial seizures. Probably not all of them, but at least a few. Especially any that may have been preceded by a ringing in my right ear
Most of you reading this have no idea what it's like to have such thoughts, and you never will. However, this is my daily life. So much so that these thoughts just happen out of instinct. I don't make a conscious decision anymore to think about my surrounding and analyze my best option in the event that a seizure were to occur, I just go through that thought process out of pure habit. Almost like you might walk into a room and take off your shoes, or hang up your coat. I walk into a room and make a complete assessment of my surroundings. I come up with a plan of where to go, or who to talk to if something happens, and I put forth no actual effort in doing so... it just happens naturally.
The craziest thing about all of this... I don't even have very active seizures. I am forced to think about my epilepsy multiple times a day, and seizures aren't even a very active part of my life. I can't imagine this process in someone who does have active seizures.
Or maybe it's just me and my crazy brain. I am a very detail oriented, very logical, and process oriented. If I don't have a process to follow, I create one. And that's what I've done here. I've created a process to keep myself safe in every possible situation, in every possible location. But of course, no process is flawless. If some very real danger were to present itself, I may not be able to keep myself safe even without having a seizure.
This and the part that says "UPDATE:" were added tonight... after the initial writing.
Not many people look at me and immediately think "there's Randy, he has epilepsy." But truth is... I think about it every day.
I'm forced to think about it - I take medicine twice a day.
I choose to think about it - I have this internal need to know how and why things are the way they are... and this is the one case where I have no idea. So I am constantly analyzing myself. Studying my own behavior, noticing my body's reaction to certain situations, and my own conscious reactions to situations.
I need to think about it - I want to always make sure that I'm safe in any situation that life throws at me. Therefore, when I'm driving I'm often thinking "what would I do if I had a seizure right now?" When I'm at work I'm thinking "What would the people around me do if I was to have a seizure right now?" and when some external stimulus is thrown my way that I'm not used to, and I suddenly feel a sensation that I'm not used to, I'm forced to think "is this an aura, or is it something else?"
I'm a better person for thinking about it - I am constantly trying to improve myself, to prove to others that I can do just as much as they can... and in many cases, more than they can. Not because of my epilepsy, but despite my epilepsy. I've said before, that I use it as driving a force. I push myself to prove to myself and others that I can and will thrive in life.
Most people don't realize how often I have to remind myself that I have epilepsy. Or how many times life chooses to throw me a subtle reminder.
Since my seizure last summer, I have been aware of every little unexpected movement in my body. It was the first time I had ever had a partial seizure. The first time that I was conscious and aware of EVERYTHING despite the fact that I couldn't completely control the right side of my body.
Since then, I have had a couple of occasional muscle twitches. Probably nothing unusual... the muscle is overworked, or something moved just right in there to force it to move unexpectedly. But every time that happens, I do a full inspection of myself. Not physically, mentally. I think - is there anything truly unusual going on, or is this just a muscle twitch? What do I need to do in this particular moment if this is an oncoming seizure? Did I have an aura and not recognize it as such?
UPDATE: I now think that some of these may have been partial seizures. Probably not all of them, but at least a few. Especially any that may have been preceded by a ringing in my right ear
Most of you reading this have no idea what it's like to have such thoughts, and you never will. However, this is my daily life. So much so that these thoughts just happen out of instinct. I don't make a conscious decision anymore to think about my surrounding and analyze my best option in the event that a seizure were to occur, I just go through that thought process out of pure habit. Almost like you might walk into a room and take off your shoes, or hang up your coat. I walk into a room and make a complete assessment of my surroundings. I come up with a plan of where to go, or who to talk to if something happens, and I put forth no actual effort in doing so... it just happens naturally.
The craziest thing about all of this... I don't even have very active seizures. I am forced to think about my epilepsy multiple times a day, and seizures aren't even a very active part of my life. I can't imagine this process in someone who does have active seizures.
Or maybe it's just me and my crazy brain. I am a very detail oriented, very logical, and process oriented. If I don't have a process to follow, I create one. And that's what I've done here. I've created a process to keep myself safe in every possible situation, in every possible location. But of course, no process is flawless. If some very real danger were to present itself, I may not be able to keep myself safe even without having a seizure.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
More Seizures
It has been a while since I blogged here or in my development blog. I have been busy moving, and didn't have my computer at my new place yet, and have just had a lot on my mind... including something that I've so far only told a couple people.
Friday night I had another partial seizure. It was fairly minor... to the point that if it was anyone else experiencing what I experienced, they would not have known what was happening.
I went to my mom's house Friday night after work to get some stuff to help me pack/move. While there, my right ear got a sudden, loud ringing in it... loud enough that I actually grabbed for my ear. She asked "What was that?" and I just played it off as nothing, saying it was an itch. At this point, I still didn't realize exactly what was happening. I got what I needed and went back to my place.
When I walked in, I realized that my right side was extremely weak, and my right ear was still ringing. Not a constant ring, but ringing. After a while, my right leg was so weak that I had trouble walking on it. It was like I had a severe limp. Both my right leg and right arm felt like dead weight. I could move them fine, but they felt strange. I could actually feel my heart beating in my chest, and it felt like it was beating slightly faster than normal, but not extremely fast. When I moved or breathed heavily my right ear would ring again... until the movement stopped, then the ringing would stop. My right eye seemed a little blurrier than normal, (my right eye is always weaker than my left eye, and I think the seizures are part of the reason why,) and last, but not least, I felt like everything was in slow motion. My thoughts seemed slower than normal, and it just overall felt weird.
This lasted probably about an hour from beginning to end, with the "symptoms" worsening in the middle, and returning back to normal near the end. In the middle of this, I opened a notepad on my computer and wrote down some of the things I was experiencing. I used that list to write the above paragraph. Needless to say... I didn't get anything packed or moved Friday night, as I had planned.
Saturday we moved the big stuff, Sunday I rested most of the day, and Monday life returned to "normal".... except that I couldn't get out of my head the fact that I just had this seizure. And throughout the weekend I'm starting to think... this is not the first time something like this has happened.
I started thinking back, and realized... I've probably had dozens of these... maybe hundreds. The difference is, this one was a little more intense than most. I have gotten the ringing in my ear right plenty of times... I actually told my Neurologist at one of my previous appointments about it. Sometimes that ringing is followed by weakness in my right leg, and a slight limp. I usually attribute this weakness to my hamstring acting up. In 2000 I badly pulled my right hamstring while playing football, and it hasn't been the same since. So when I get this weakness, I normally blame my hamstring.
Not this time though, this one was worse... I could barely put any pressure on my leg without it collapse beneath me. And it wasn't just the leg, it was basically the entire right side of my body that was affected.
So I decided... it's time to call the doctor. I was actually supposed to see my Neurologist late last week, but missed the appointment because I was so busy moving that I forgot about it. So I called and rescheduled, since I just had what I believe to be a seizure.
I saw the doc yesterday. I told him what happened and he agrees that it was likely a partial seizure. There was no change in consciousness, so my driver's license and whatnot will not be affected. I told him that I don't think this is the first etc. etc. so we are going to schedule an EEG and slightly up my medicine after the EEG to see if that helps. (We're upping the medicine after the EEG to hopefully be able to see something on the results of the EEG.) Unity is supposed to call me and schedule the EEG. Last time he told me this (after my last recognizable seizure) they never called me, so the receptionist gave me their number so that I can call them early next week if I have not yet heard from them.
Even with this, I'm still a little bugged out knowing that I'm having more seizures than I realized, and that they're a new type of seizure. They don't affect me as much as the tonic-clonic seizures, but it's still unnerving knowing that they're happening.
However, I have further confirmed that the seizures are mainly affecting the right side of my body, and I feel that knowing that can possibly help in figuring out what's going on in my brain.
There is so much more to write... so much going on in my head right now, so many emotions, so many worries... but I think I've said enough for now. If you would like more, feel free to message me, email me, or for those that know me personally you can text me, etc.
TL;DR: I'm having more partial seizures than I realized, and it's a little unnerving knowing that.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Busy Busy Busy
I've been crazy busy lately! Trying to live healthy, finding a new place to live, trying to clean/pack the current apartment, acclimating to the new job, going to the gym when I don't feel too overwhelmed, and trying to get some programming in on whatever free time I may have.
So here's where I'm at:
Diet
the living healthy is still working well. It's not easy, but it feels good. it takes a little extra time to plan meals, and prepare meals before/after work, but it's worth it.
I'm finding now that I need to add the occasional salty snack in. Salty snacks (like potato chips) are my "guilty pleasure", and I haven't had many while on this new diet. I crave it though, and when I have had some it was really good. . I'm also finding that when I do give in to the cravings I eat less of it, which is good. And I think the main reason I'm craving it is because my body actually needs some more salt and fat and such. (You do need these things in your diet, just not in high doses.)
So all in all.... it's a learning process. Having a balanced diet is not as easy as people think, and right now I think I'm actually too heavy on the "healthy" foods and need some "guilty pleasure" food occasionally.
Apartment
I put in an application to a 2-bedroom apartment in Henrietta yesterday. It's right next to Walmart (not too far from RIT or work) and it's fairly cheap compared to other places in the area. It comes with heat, hot water, and Frontier Internet (we'll see how good the internet really is...) It's a pretty nice place inside. The bathroom is a bit small, but I don't really care much about that.
I set a potential move-in date of the 18th, and might move that forward a couple days so that I can start moving some small stuff on my way into work those days.
My current apartment is pretty much set to go when I start moving. I need to clean my bedroom and the bathroom a bit, but I vacuumed the living room last weekend and I cleaned the kitchen and the dinning room table (which was all pretty disgusting, from what Matt and his kids did to it). So it's pretty clean, now I just need to start packing things . (Most of it doesn't really need to be packed, it can just go over... mostly just my room needs to be packed)
I'm going to clean out my car this weekend too. It's a disaster right now. I tend to horde things in there in the winter, then clean it out summer. I usually do this the week before camp, but this year it needs to get done early because a) it's so bad, and b) I need to put things in there to move.
I didn't clean it out last year because I wasn't driving at the end of last summer due to my July 3rd seizure. This made it so that my week-before-camp cleaning wasn't necessary, as I wasn't driving it to camp, and now it's extra bad because of that.
Job
The job is not bad. I'm not super ecstatic or anything, but I never am about any job. As I've said before, the hours are different, but as the days go on I'm getting more used to it. I'm forming more of a "routine" now, but it's still weird getting home at 8pm or later.
The other night I went to the gym after work, and at almost 9pm I could still see the sun settings. It was a pretty awesome site actually. Half the sky was dark, and the other half was that orange-ish, blue-ish sunset look. It's not often you see a sunset like that in Rochester. (I wish I had Google Glass to easily capture some pics/video of it!)
Gym
I haven't been going to the gym every day, as I originally planned, but I have been going a couple times a week. The other night I did bench press again, and increased my weight by 10 pounds! I haven't increased my bench weight in a LONG time, and it felt good to be able to go up again.
Ever since the shoulder injury, I've been hesitant to increase weight on many exercises. However, I'm trying to increase weight when I get to 3 sets of 20 reps. Last week I did that 3 sets of 20 reps, so this week I went up 10 pounds and back down to 3 sets of 15 reps at the new weight. It actually felt GREAT. I haven't had a weight increase go so smoothly in a long time. I actually got done with the 3 sets of 15 and felt like I could almost keep going. (Notice the "almost")
My walk/run is also feeling better. I'm not really doing any more or less than before, I just feel more comfortable doing it. Same with the bike. I did 3 miles in 11 minutes the other night, but it was a more steady pace, instead of fast-slow-fast-slow kind of thing. I take all of that as good signs.
My body weight is pretty steady too, which is actually a good sign as well. I usually go up a few pounds after my first couple days back at the gym, but the steady weight (fluctuating less than a pound at each visit) means I'm definitely doing something right.
Programming
I haven't done a lot of programming recently. I did some last night, after getting a suggestion from a user, but for the most part I don't have much time for it right now. I know of at least 1 potential bug that needs to be fixed, but I completely forgot to even look into it last night before releasing the update.
I'm doing some pretty cool things as I get more acclimated to Java, Android, and other tools. My analytics are getting more and more detailed every release, telling me how my users interact with specific parts of my app.
Google is supposedly announcing some new tools for gaming at Google I/O next week. If that happens, it will help me network my Tic-Tac-Toe and Euchre games to other players. The Euchre game isn't even finished yet (I don't even have a fully working alpha/beta build yet) but these new tools sound like they will be AWESOME if/when they are released, and it will make my job much easier.
Conclusion
That's about it for now. Everything is still going well, and the craziness is about to die down soon (hopefully... after I move.) Then I can start looking forward to summer and the concerts, festivals, and other fun stuff that comes with it! :-)
So here's where I'm at:
Diet
the living healthy is still working well. It's not easy, but it feels good. it takes a little extra time to plan meals, and prepare meals before/after work, but it's worth it.
I'm finding now that I need to add the occasional salty snack in. Salty snacks (like potato chips) are my "guilty pleasure", and I haven't had many while on this new diet. I crave it though, and when I have had some it was really good. . I'm also finding that when I do give in to the cravings I eat less of it, which is good. And I think the main reason I'm craving it is because my body actually needs some more salt and fat and such. (You do need these things in your diet, just not in high doses.)
So all in all.... it's a learning process. Having a balanced diet is not as easy as people think, and right now I think I'm actually too heavy on the "healthy" foods and need some "guilty pleasure" food occasionally.
Apartment
I put in an application to a 2-bedroom apartment in Henrietta yesterday. It's right next to Walmart (not too far from RIT or work) and it's fairly cheap compared to other places in the area. It comes with heat, hot water, and Frontier Internet (we'll see how good the internet really is...) It's a pretty nice place inside. The bathroom is a bit small, but I don't really care much about that.
I set a potential move-in date of the 18th, and might move that forward a couple days so that I can start moving some small stuff on my way into work those days.
My current apartment is pretty much set to go when I start moving. I need to clean my bedroom and the bathroom a bit, but I vacuumed the living room last weekend and I cleaned the kitchen and the dinning room table (which was all pretty disgusting, from what Matt and his kids did to it). So it's pretty clean, now I just need to start packing things . (Most of it doesn't really need to be packed, it can just go over... mostly just my room needs to be packed)
I'm going to clean out my car this weekend too. It's a disaster right now. I tend to horde things in there in the winter, then clean it out summer. I usually do this the week before camp, but this year it needs to get done early because a) it's so bad, and b) I need to put things in there to move.
I didn't clean it out last year because I wasn't driving at the end of last summer due to my July 3rd seizure. This made it so that my week-before-camp cleaning wasn't necessary, as I wasn't driving it to camp, and now it's extra bad because of that.
Job
The job is not bad. I'm not super ecstatic or anything, but I never am about any job. As I've said before, the hours are different, but as the days go on I'm getting more used to it. I'm forming more of a "routine" now, but it's still weird getting home at 8pm or later.
The other night I went to the gym after work, and at almost 9pm I could still see the sun settings. It was a pretty awesome site actually. Half the sky was dark, and the other half was that orange-ish, blue-ish sunset look. It's not often you see a sunset like that in Rochester. (I wish I had Google Glass to easily capture some pics/video of it!)
Gym
I haven't been going to the gym every day, as I originally planned, but I have been going a couple times a week. The other night I did bench press again, and increased my weight by 10 pounds! I haven't increased my bench weight in a LONG time, and it felt good to be able to go up again.
Ever since the shoulder injury, I've been hesitant to increase weight on many exercises. However, I'm trying to increase weight when I get to 3 sets of 20 reps. Last week I did that 3 sets of 20 reps, so this week I went up 10 pounds and back down to 3 sets of 15 reps at the new weight. It actually felt GREAT. I haven't had a weight increase go so smoothly in a long time. I actually got done with the 3 sets of 15 and felt like I could almost keep going. (Notice the "almost")
My walk/run is also feeling better. I'm not really doing any more or less than before, I just feel more comfortable doing it. Same with the bike. I did 3 miles in 11 minutes the other night, but it was a more steady pace, instead of fast-slow-fast-slow kind of thing. I take all of that as good signs.
My body weight is pretty steady too, which is actually a good sign as well. I usually go up a few pounds after my first couple days back at the gym, but the steady weight (fluctuating less than a pound at each visit) means I'm definitely doing something right.
Programming
I haven't done a lot of programming recently. I did some last night, after getting a suggestion from a user, but for the most part I don't have much time for it right now. I know of at least 1 potential bug that needs to be fixed, but I completely forgot to even look into it last night before releasing the update.
I'm doing some pretty cool things as I get more acclimated to Java, Android, and other tools. My analytics are getting more and more detailed every release, telling me how my users interact with specific parts of my app.
Google is supposedly announcing some new tools for gaming at Google I/O next week. If that happens, it will help me network my Tic-Tac-Toe and Euchre games to other players. The Euchre game isn't even finished yet (I don't even have a fully working alpha/beta build yet) but these new tools sound like they will be AWESOME if/when they are released, and it will make my job much easier.
Conclusion
That's about it for now. Everything is still going well, and the craziness is about to die down soon (hopefully... after I move.) Then I can start looking forward to summer and the concerts, festivals, and other fun stuff that comes with it! :-)
Friday, May 3, 2013
Immediate effect of my new diet
On Monday, I posted that I'm going to change my eating habits. There were two major changes I was making:
- Eating more often throughout the day (at least 5 times)
- Eating more fruit, for a more balanced diet
I also said I was not eating red meat but that was just an acknowledgement, not a change. I have not been eating red meat for quite some time. Not because I think it's bad for you, or anything like that, more because I really enjoy chicken, turkey, and sausage.
I have been doing the 5 times a day eating now since Monday morning, and I went out and bought the fruit on Monday night, so that part didn't start until about 9pm Monday (I had some fruit when I got home that night.)
So it has only been 3-4 days since I changed my habits, and I'm already seeing a lot of positive changes. I'm not sure which of the two dietary changes is causing each of the positive results (since this is not a science project I changed more than 1 variable, so it's impossible to tell the exact cause-effect relationship) but in any case, it's helping. Here are some things that I've noticed:
- I have a lot more energy
- This started immediately after changing to the 5 meals, but has become more noticeable with time. Therefore, it could be that the extra meals took time to fully effect me, or it could be a combination of both changes
- I don't feel REALLY hungry anymore
- When I start to feel even slightly hungry, I grab an apple or a mandarin orange cup, and the hunger subsides
- The full feeling from the fruit lasts longer than most other foods, so I'm not hungry as often, and it sits lighter in my stomach, making me feel more comfortable throughout the day
- My "normal, everyday" aches and pains are lessened (still there, but not as bad)
- I have a lot of minor ailments (mostly from sports injuries... mostly cheerleading injuries) and for a long time those were something I would just deal with. I would expect my shoulder to hurt in certain situations, or my leg to cramp up. This isn't happening as much now.
- This is NOT a result of going to the gym. I have been to the gym before, and usually these issues get worse for a small period of time before getting better. (Kinda like going to the gym and coming home sore, then a few days later being back to normal but slightly stronger.)
- I think this is caused by a mixture of the two changes. The constant nutrition allows my body to continually heal itself, and the added fruit is providing nutrients that I was likely lacking before.
- This could be caused by many things other than the diet as well.... but my allergies aren't quite as bad (like above, they're still there, just not as bad)
- As above, this is probably due to added "juice" in my body. My immune system is probably using the extra nutrition to properly fight off the allergens, instead of causing a reaction to do the fighting. But it could also be due to environmental changes, like weather, or so many other things
- I'm sleeping better
- This one was completely surprising to me, but I realized that over the past couple nights I have been sleeping through the night uninterrupted. Before I would wake up 3-4 times throughout the night, now I got to sleep later (because I have the energy to stay awake) and I sleep better.
So there you have it. One "work week" on a new diet, and it's already causing a TON of positive changes.
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